The Guyver (1991)

The Guyver is a 1991 American/Japanese co-production adapting a serious-toned sci-fi anime into a silly-ass live-action movie. It is a Westernized take on the Tokusatsu genre, which I last visited with Mechanical Violator Hakaider. Special effects legend Screaming Mad George got the offer to work on The Guyver based on his memorable effects work on Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (he did the gnarly cockroach sequence). He agreed as long as he got the chance to direct, and then brought along fellow SFX buddy Steve Wang as his co-director.  They started out working side-by-side then split off later in production with Wang handling most of the action sequences (building skills he would later use directing the under-seen and awesome buddy action-comedy flick Drive in 1997). Another principal player was producer Brian Yuzna. Yuzna started out producing Stuart Gordon movies with Re-Animator, then moved on to directing with Society (1989). That became a minor cult classic, mostly based on an insane and nasty climax overseen by Screaming Mad George (a literal orgy of his goopy, rubbery body horror).

It should come as no surprise, then, that this movie is first and foremost a special effects showcase with an underdeveloped script. There is a narrated text crawl exposition dump at the beginning of the movie that goes on wayyyy too long, but it is also necessary to set up the entire backstory that the rest of the movie doesn’t make time for. Ancient aliens created humans along with Zoanoids, which look human but can transform into creatures. The Guyver is a biotech armor that just works as a shield for Zoanoids, but it will make certain rare humans super powerful (I just shaved 3 paragraphs off their intro!). Then it jumps right into the action, with a scientist on the run in the L.A. sewer basin. He is threatened by one of the most colorful collections of goons I have seen in a while. 

squad goals

The most recognizable is Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes) as leader Lisker, the most baffling is Jimmy “JJ” Walker (Good Times), and the most obscure is Peter Spellos (Orville from Sorority House Massacre II!). I didn’t recognize the lone lady in the group, but it turns out I have also seen actress/stuntwoman Spice Williams-Crosby before in the terrible Fatal Games and an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (“What’s My Line?”). Lisker and the scientist both transform into elaborate practical effects monster men, and Lisker kills the scientist. He already hid the object they wanted from him (the titular Guyver), leading Lisker’s boss Balcus (David Gale of Reanimator) to rage when he finds a toaster instead of the Guyver.

Things slow down a little to introduce the human characters. Mark Hamill and his mustache play detective Max Reed, who was supposed to meet with the scientist and wants to investigate his murder. The other cops question how he can tell it is a murder with the desiccated remains, I wonder how they could even tell it was the scientist! I have to be honest, Hamill’s performance here feels more like a weak impression of a hard-boiled B-movie detective, but I guess it matches the rest of this ridiculous movie. That’s ok though, this was right around the time Hamill hit his stride with his true passion, voice acting. His iconic take on the Joker in Batman: the Animated Series debuted a year later in 1992, and would go on to provide the voice of the character in my mind for every comic I read after that. 

our hero, ladies and gentleman

Even shakier is our protagonist Sean Barker (Jack Armstrong). Armstrong brings a real weenie energy to his character, which is not helped by the writing. This movie exists in a weird nether-region between children and adults’ entertainment. It’s PG-13, with more intense violence than a kids’ movie and creatures that are too gross and creepy for most small children (I would have loved them!), and one particularly nightmarish transformation at the end. The storytelling is barely at Saturday morning cartoon level and the humor is too broad and goofy for your average adult or teen. This is all perfectly encapsulated by the character of Sean, an adult character that would make so much more sense if they were a teenager. Let me set the scene for when he first manifests the Guyver power: our protagonist is driving his shitty tiny scooter and it breaks down in an alley. A gang of toughs start to harass him, and he recognizes one of them as the bully from his martial arts class. Sounds like a perfect set up for a Karate Kid or a Peter Parker, right? Not an adult-ass dude with his own apartment! That would also help explain his complete immaturity and lack of short term memory when dealing with love interest Mizky (Vivian Wu). He sees, but doesn’t hear her get bad news (about her scientist father dying). Then he follows her to the basin and watches cops talk to her at an obvious crime scene (where he finds the Guyver armor her dead dad ditched). I can only imagine they asked “Is this your father’s skull and rib cage?” Immediately after that Sean goes to her apartment, sees one of the cops (Max) there talking to her, and he gets jealous and storms off thinking it's a romantic rival?! The fact that Mizky is completely ignorant of her father’s work and life would also make more sense if she was a teenager too. 

The storytelling and characters range from amusingly cheesy to annoyingly silly (they really let Jimmie Walker go wild on this one…), but the Zoanoids and the Guyver armor are pure awesome. Any time that could have been used to flesh out the plot or improve the script went to filling the movie with crazy creatures instead, and it was time well spent! Each one has a completely distinct look, and they are all detailed and slimy (my favorite was Spellos’ Zoanoid form with its tiny elephant trunk!).

It is so focused on that aspect that there aren’t many characters/actors in the movie overall, but almost every single one of them transforms! Mizky doesn’t transform, but Sean becomes the Guyver, every single employee of the Chronos corporation has a Zoanoid form (even minor characters introduced in the last few minutes, including the Re-Animator himself Jeffrey Combs!), and SPOILER ALERT FOR THE NASTIEST MOMENT at the end Max has a failed Zoanoid transformation that is similar to the nightmare shit George did for Elm Street 4. That sequence might be the most horrific thing I have ever seen in a PG-13 movie.

it gets so much worse from here...

The combination of legitimately awesome effects work and goofy superhero story kept me entertained from start to finish. I liked it a lot, but my wife absolutely loved it. She said the crazy creatures and silly tone scratched an itch she didn’t know she had. 

We watched the sequel Guyver: Dark Hero the next day (directed by a solo Steve Wang). Dark Hero got better reviews than the original, probably because it more closely resembles a normal movie in storytelling and tone. David Hayter (Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid) also takes over as lead for Jack Armstrong, and Hayter brings a competent but generic intensity instead of Armstrong’s awkwardness. All that might make it better for the average viewer, but we really missed the batshit craziness of the first movie (and at two hours it is WAY too long for the story it is telling). The creature suits aren’t quite as cool or creepy, probably because Screaming Mad George was no longer involved. One advantage the sequel does have is a higher quantity and quality of fight scenes. They obviously received more time and attention the second go round, and benefited from the sequel’s addition of stunt coordinator Koichi Sakamoto and his team behind the scenes. Sakamoto would go on to be action coordinator for Steve Wang on Drive, where he and his team delivered some truly kick-ass fight scenes.

Does anyone have recommendations for other movies that are gross/goofy creature features like The Guyver? The only other movie I can think of that does something similar (but even better), is Psycho Goreman, which we watched last year and loved. I have added a couple more Screaming Mad George projects to my watchlist, but I need more suggestions folks!

Also, does anyone know where to find the truly uncut version of The Guyver that was only  released in Germany under the title Mutronics? The US “Director’s Cut” is apparently still missing a few seconds of creature violence: https://www.movie-censorship.com/report.php?ID=782353