The Naked Cage (1986)

My latest “Tubi: Trash-or-Treasure?” movie, randomly picked from Tubi’s recommendations.

I was happily surprised to be greeted by the logo for 1980s schlockmeisters Cannon Films when I hit play on this one.

The Naked Cage is an 1986 American Women-in-Prison film from writer/director Paul Nicholas. Things start off strong and stylish with close-up shots of cowgirl boots on a desert road and reflections in sunglasses as Rita (Christina Whitaker) hitchhikes to the sounds of “Tuff Enuff” by the Fabulous Thunderbirds. I don’t think I have ever heard a popular licensed song in a WiP (Women-in-Prison) movie before! She gets picked up by Willy (John Terlesky, Deathstalker in Deathstalker II) in a Corvette he recently stole. They get flirtatious at a diner until a cop shows up. Willy tries to sneak out, but crazy ass Rita knocks out the cop and shoots the diner owner! They escape back to Willy’s place, where he begins to worry about their spiraling crimes. Rita distracts him with some cleavage cocaine, and the titty-tooting makes Willy forget about all his concerns. Whitaker makes an effective temptress as Rita.

She has cool 80s music video hair and sunglasses, and her smile and sexiness have a dangerous quality to them. The kind of girl you know is going to get you into trouble. Later on there is a fight scene where she ends up on all fours and she looks like a feral cat!

Rita convinces Willy to rob the bank Willy’s estranged wife Michelle (Shari Shattuck) works at. The robbery goes sideways and leaves Willy dead. I guess he wasn’t… Tuff Enuff! Michelle tries to protect Willy and everyone assumes she was in on the robbery, so she gets sent to jail. After the opening bait-and-switch, innocent horse girl Michelle is the actual protagonist the rest of the movie follows. The beautiful Shattuck is another bit of solid casting, with her wide, intense eyes projecting fear and innocence until that is eventually replaced with righteous rage. 

Here the film slows down to introduce a supporting cast and indulge in some WiP tropes. Michelle becomes fast friends with manic pixie ex-junkie girl Amy (Stacey Shaffer), who also helps Michelle make a good first impression on the biggest, baddest white bitch in the prison Sheila (Faith Minton, an actress, wrestler and stuntwoman who I just saw in …All the Marbles).

There is a horny warden taking advantage of inmates, this one of the female variety (played by Angel Tompkins). There is the genre-standard ever-present prison guard rapist, Smiley, played by a perfectly slimy Nick Benedict. There is also a new guard who is obviously an undercover cop or something, Rhonda (Lucinda Crosby, reminding me so much of comedian Tig Notaro that I referred to her character as “Officer Tig”). Women in Prison films often hit the same plot and character beats, but I was struck by the fact that the Black inmates’ leader Vonna (Angela Elayne Gibbs, Ms. Tudi in the show Black Jesus) has almost word for word the same dialogue about “protecting my people” from drugs and character beats that I have seen in multiple other WiP movies!  Digging a little deeper, I saw that Paul Nicholas ALSO directed and co-wrote Chained Heat (1983), so he might have genuinely just copied the Black characters’ dialogue from that movie into The Naked Cage script. He probably figured people only watched these movies for the sleazy nudity and violence so no one would care or notice, but 40 years later I caught him red-handed! I will end your career for this self-plagiarism, Nicholas! What’s that? You haven't written or directed anything in 25 years? Carry on then.

At the 40 minute mark, Michelle seems to be doing surprisingly good for an innocent inmate. She defends her friend in a fight and earns some respect in the process, and other than the warden leaning on her to be a snitch she is cool with everyone. That’s when Rita arrives at the prison, moving through the cafeteria like a shark in a POV shot and stabbing Michelle in the hand! The pacing and structure do a great job of shifting gears multiple times so the movie never falls into a rut. The opening shows Rita’s crimes and Michelle getting pulled in. The next 20 minutes show Michelle adjusting to prison life and fill out the supporting cast. Then Rita comes in to fuck everything and everyone up and bring a jolt of energy to the movie. Rita and others put the screws to Michelle and her friends for a while until the inevitable cat and mouse showdown and riot that takes up most of the last act. 

The movie packs in a decent amount of the expected nudity and violence, but it actually isn’t as sadistic as many WiP movies. Violence is intense but usually quick, there are no scenes of torture or extended suffering. There is plenty of nudity and a few skin scenes in the Warden’s sex office with her favorite inmate Abbey (the luscious Lisa London of H.O.T.S.), but The Naked Cage actually shows (some) restraint and cuts away at the start of a rape that many Women in Prison movies would linger on. That seems especially surprising coming from Cannon Films, but maybe I am just thinking of the rapey Death Wish sequels that sleazebag Michael Winner directed for them.

SPOILER ALERT for the most satisfying parts of the movie

your average run-of-the-mill Warden's Sex Office

Later the Warden sends Smiley into Michelle’s solitary confinement cell to rape her. He tears open her shirt and I thought “I guess they were waiting for THIS assault to get nasty”, but then Michelle breaks his nose! The blood-covered Smiley takes a moment to recover and rage out before attacking her, but Michelle wrecks his shit again and she remains unscathed. If that wasn’t satisfying enough, during the riotous climax Smiley gets trapped by a mob of women and they shank him more times than Julius Caesar! The ratio of on-screen assault to on-screen punishment for the perpetrator distinguishes this from many WiP flicks. Although for some reason the angry mob takes forever to catch up with the injured and hobbling Smiley, letting him shoot more Black women than there are named Black characters in the movie. This movie is pretty stupid, I should make it clear.

Officer Tig

I was amused by how useless undercover Officer Tig is, she doesn’t do much in the climax except get shot multiple times. I guess she needed to be on hand to hear Rita talk about framing Michelle before Rita dies a shocking death. Then in another surprise, as Michelle returns to her horses the movie ends with what sounds like an expository theme song before it devolves into nonsense… 

“Ooooohhh You were at the wrong place at the right time/ that was your only crime

the only justice you saw was the struggle all along/ you’ve been through hell and back

though its cornered and wrong(?)/ something something… struggle a strong one(?)

Now you’re free to fly! Free to fly!”

(even though she is riding a horse)

That’s the stuff! I am going to have to declare this one a Trashy Treasure, as it is dumb and disreputable but also efficient and entertaining (that should have been Cannon Films' motto!). This is one of the most fun Women-in-Prison flicks I have seen so far. It is second only to Tom DeSimone’s Reform School Girls (also from 1986), but that is a knowingly campy and over the top borderline parody of the genre, The Naked Cage is playing it straight.